Breaking Through

* June 11th, 2016/

Fred and I spent the day in Los Angeles cheering on our friend Mike as he crossed the finish line after riding 545 miles in the "LifeCycle/ Ride to End AIDS"! We had a wonderful day, and Fred was fantastic around tons (literally thousands) of people, cars, other dogs, and even a couple of relentless toddlers that couldn't take their eyes (or hands) off of him for several minutes. He rested/slept right through it.

Our first stop was in Burbank for breakfast with one of my most favorite families in the world, the Hadingers! Fred was perfect during the meal, quietly laying near the table -- not begging or hyper-vigilant at all about the other dogs in the area. He was very calm, and even relaxed while we ate things like bacon, which normally would have him staring at me and salivating.

We went to the park afterwards, where Fred engaged with Henry and some other kids, so very sweetly. He whined when he saw a couple of other dogs on leash, but I had him sit and give me eye contact, then he was allowed to sniff and briefly greet them. He did just fine in all of these interactions. I kept them brief and moving.

After our visit with Henry and family, we went to the finish line of Mike's ride, at Fairfax High School in Hollywood. Fred saw other dogs and got slightly excited/watchful with a couple of them, but quickly went back to relaxing and facing away from them (communicating that he didn't feel they were a threat). The one dog he came nose to nose with (while he was backed up to a fence) was a golden retriever, whose owner wasn't paying attention as she meandered to the end of her leash (I think it was a girl, not sure though). Fred's body language got a bit "still", and tail erect. As I heard the beginnings of a low growl, I calmly removed him from the situation and walked him around a tree that stood between them. I had him lay down, thinking he would go into avoidance and not face the other dog; surprisingly, he relaxed right away, laying down facing the dog and resting his head on his paws. This was very encouraging!

Very interesting behavior when we got home and I tried a different dinner ritual than ever before. Rather than just feeding him immediately as he stared down the bowl, I got his food ready, and set the bowl on top of my dresser. Then I put him in his kennel across the room, and left him alone for about ten minutes while I caught up with Kristin outside. I didn't hear any barking. When I returned to the room, he was laying down and pretty calm in the kennel, maybe at an energy level 2. His tail was still slightly active. I let him out when he was laying down with the door open and giving me eye contact. But before I set the food down, I asked him to turn AWAY from the bowl and lay down. This was virtually impossible for him! I gently held his collar underneath his chin until he stopped fidgeting, and laid down facing me rather than turning toward the bowl of food. I had him stay while I went to get the bowl, bring it back, and set it on the floor in front of him. He gave me eye contact, still probably at a level 2. I let him eat, which he did without urgency, and at a normal pace.

_ _ _ _ _

I was thinking about "fixation", and where it fits into the fight/flight/avoidance/surrender schematic. I could be totally incorrect in my assessment, but I feel like Fred's obsession with food -- which I had long since pin-pointed was different than just a typical lab's "love of eating" -- is part of the "fight" mechanism? It's almost like an addiction, in that it controls him; it actually drives and controls his behavior in ways (even besides the obvious way, which is resource guarding food). I have to take that control AWAY from food in Fred's eyes. By indulging his addiction (i.e. feeding him while he is in a state of food-frenzy), I am "agreeing with" the control FOOD has over him. I need to rearrange the situation so that Fred learns to associate "calm surrender" with food. It's almost like Step 1 of AA. Fred needs to accept being "powerless over his addiction to food", while I need to be the "higher power" in his life that steps in to take over, so that he needn't worry about it anymore.

Over all, we had a very fun and successful day. All of Mike's friends know and love Fred truly, madly and deeply. It was also precious and priceless to watch him and Henry play and walk together.